Okay, so listen... I know I haven't updated this in four months, but I also haven't hooked up with anyone in four months either. So we're even.
I have to say, I'm disappointed in myself for not updating my blog more, I was gathering research all semester for my senior thesis... and by gathering research for my senior thesis I mean blacking out as research for my blog. I mean come on. I have to live up to its name, and if nothing else at least I was blacking out for educational purposes.
Speaking of which, My friend Kim and I created a rule for the entire semester: "The can't say no rule."
If at any time a friend asks you to drink and/or smoke, with the exception of a performance weekend in a show or finals week, you simply cannot say no and further more must become inebriated. It is our last semester of college, we need to go big or go home.
Well... in the beginning of April I found myself in quite a conundrum. I was getting drunk extremely frequently (off the record), and began missing large chunks of my nights. So whilst walking through a business office on campus with my friend Vince, we stumbled upon a phone message book up for grabs, and naturally I grabbed it. Short story long, I would write messages in this "Phone message book" only while inebriated to remember what I was doing with night before/ who I was with. #1 You write to who the message is for, #2 who it is from, #3 the date/ time, #4 the message you are writing, #5 you sign it and label whether the message is urgent, if you need to see them or speak to them, for them to call you back etc.. I would also quote people and ridiculous things they said and/or things they were saying about other people, which if nothing else made me laugh hysterically the next morning when I was still laying in bed.
I'm proud to say the book of 400 messages is almost complete two months later. Sad some might think? I say it is a triumph.
In other news in the last five months:
- twitter has come into my life and fully taken over.
- I performed in a dance concert at Cornell University.
- I joined a modern dance company.
- my ex-boyfriend is an even bigger ass to me, which I never thought was possible (refer to past blogs to be caught up)
- I am moving to New York City in the fall (of 2011).
- My liver has filed for legal separation, we're on a brief hiatus from our relationship.
- I somehow managed to get all A's and B+'s... I still have no idea how the hell I pulled that off.
- I've really been contemplating becoming asexual... why not at the rate things are going in my sex life.
- I was not 100% sober for longer than a 36 hour period of time for four straight months.
- Bold statement, but Tangled might be my new favorite disney movie of all time. That's saying a lot.
- I'm currently watching "No Strings Attached" and I can't tell if tears are forming from my sad existence or if the air conditioner is blowing in my eyes. combo of both? possibly.
- I somehow always manage to blatantly mention illegal substances in head-shops and I always get yelled at. without fail.
- quit my job at chili's... i don't want my baby back baby back baby back ribs.
- newest favorite flavor of vodka- smirnoff: cranberry
- all of my friends and their mothers are on the weight watchers diet.
- Proud to say I watched all of seasons 1 through 6 of "Will and Grace." final two seasons to go.
- I've made code names for people so I can talk about them right in front of them and they'll never now. example: keebler elf.
I guess what still blows my mind, is that you date someone and you are with them for a long time (I'm not just talking about a few months), things do not work out, and you break up... but treating someone you claimed you "loved" and was the "love of your life" like a piece of amish horse shit being smushed by the cars that are flying by all the amish buggies on the side of the road anyway, is just completely unjustifiable to me.
Which only leads me to think, did I really love this person? or more importantly did they actually love me if it so easy for them to treat me this way now, and basically act as if we never dated, and ignore me for almost seven months but who is counting anyway?! RIGHT??
I guess my point is, if this person you thought you loved was just an ass for... well... forever. Then what does real love feel like? Does it exist? Does everyone find it? Why do all the terrible people in our lives meet someone and have these great relationships. Why do all the douche bag ex's find new people, but we don't? I'm gonna save myself twenty years unlike Charlotte York and just say "Where the hell is he? I'm exhausted already?"
Well, I'm probably never going to see you again, and I think it's safe to say you'll never talk to me again, so for the hell of this year *Que Music* "FUCK YOU" by Cee Lo Green
followed closely by "Since you've been gone" by Kelly Clarkson
and if I was going to go on a method acting route on this one: "Bust your windows" by Jasmine Sullivan thereafter.
Are there no decent guys out there?
Where is the sweet, attractive guy (preferably Bradley Cooper) to come and actually pursue you and not just want sex, but want to be with you? If a guy came home with me from a bar and just asked to spoon... I think I'd cry.
I think I've thrown enough ambiguous Carrie Bradshaw questions out into the universe for one night. I'm stressing myself out now.
live. laugh. drink.
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