Only two weeks since the last post, look at me go!! You go Glen Coco.
So last weekend I went to New York City, to visit one of my best friends who recently moved up there and to multi-task also go on an audition while I was up there... again, look at me go.
Before getting to the big apple, which in my opinion should be called the big shit- not only because NYC is the shit, but also because it smells like shit. I digress.
I made a pit stop at my friend Joanna's graduation party in New Jersey... I say friend because it is easier then saying my best friends, best friend from college, who I know and met through because of her, so now we know each other and are friends... see it's just easier to say we're friends.
The party was great, amazing Filipino food!! I've never been in such a close proximity with so many Filipino people in my life. Anyway, after several shots, drinks, and a bowl... I was well on my way to a great night. We ended up sleeping at Paige's house though, which was such an honor for me.
You know how you always hear your best friends from high school talking about all of their best friends from college, and then sometimes you actually have the great fortune of meeting these friends from college... judging them, and then deciding you're still better then they are and you'll be closer with that friend then they'll ever be. Well, not only have I had the amazing opportunity of meeting Allison's friends from Wake Forest more then once, I have also now been to three of her friends houses from college, and non of them live in our home state of Maryland. How did I manage that you might ask? I don't even fucking know myself.
So, as you can tell, I felt like such a guest celebrity actually being in these peoples houses, and exploring their lives/ worlds. Not only did I feel great, but they must have been in heaven having a person of my stature in their presence. Im joking!!... not really. But what is funny with this group: Allison, Frank, Paige, and myself, was that our first gathering together as the Fantastic Four was two years prior when we spent a weekend in Long Island at Frank's house/ in New York City and I dragged them all to two Broadway shows. It's like I have super powers or something. So now we have made a tradition that we will bump it up from two years and get together at least once a year for a wasted evening.
At Paige's house I discover several amazing things in my life:
#1 the new show on HBO: Game of Thrones. It. Is. Literally. Amazing. and they actually show the characters having sex right in front of you... like everything. The boobs, vagina, penis and balls, doggy style sex... not gonna lie I was squirming in my seat, I still can't tell if I was uncomfortable or getting turned on... maybe combination of both. You must watch. It truly is fascinating, and it is about the Medieval Times- such an underrated time period in history. I learned more in that 45 minutes about that time period then I did in seventeen years of private catholic education... like how much they loved to fuck. guys, girls, gay, straight, cheating on wives, going to brothels and they sure as hell didn't have condoms. We should really bring these values back to our society today... but with condoms... well maybe not with all these STD's. What the hell some are curable right?!
#2 How much I love bacon.
#3 How great a glazed donut is.
#4 Never name a rat looking dog, or any dog for that matter Cokey (sp? who cares).
#5 The most important part of this blog entry: As I could not sleep that night, I picked up a book I had since long forgotten about and began reading. The Bible: also known as He's just not that into you.
This book literally changed my life.. yet again. Especially rereading it after four years of college or as I call it: a plethora of one night stands, pointless hookups, dating, and a long term relationship and the problem with that fucked up mess is in the title, it was too long and should have never happened.
Entering the real world as an official adult (God thats a joke), The Bible reopened my eyes to guys and how just damn stupid, not to mention selfish they are. The bullshit excuses they tell you, the lies to cover their own lame asses, just any and everything.
And we sit there going crazy, and asking ourselves: Am I upset for no reason? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Am I reading into all of this too much?
We meet a guy, we talk, we flirt, we heavily flirt, we may or may not hookup with them, we may or may not have sex, we may or may not use a condom, and we may or may not have a pregnancy and/or STD scare. Now, in a sane persons mind why would a guy go through all that trouble if he just wanted to get laid and have no strings attached? Why would he take your number after the party or bar, whether you hook up or not, and then never call you? Why would he even waste his time, and well actually your time, if he was not interested?
WHY SAY SOMETHING YOU DONT MEAN?
well that is because they are a douche bag and do not deserve your time.
To bring it back to me, I met a guy two summers ago (the same weekend the fantastic four had our NYC trip, and also another college friend I met through Allison). At the time I was in a pointless a long term relationship, that went too long for its own good, but if nothing else I grew immensely from it, learned from my mistakes, know what I want in a guy now, and know a giant assface when I see one but once again I digress. Long story short, this guy and I kept in touch that summer. We both went back to school in the fall, he got into a relationship, we didnt know each other all that well... but it was one of those weird, we've never hookedup, we aren't really friends, but we're attracted to each other and the chemistry is just weird and unexplainable.
Fast forward to this summer.
We are now both single. I am aging extremely well and getting more attractive throughout the years.
I was in New York City last weekend where this guy is currently living and has been living, and he knows I'm there for the weekend. We texted each other, he texted Allison, we've all been fucking texting. Through all the drunken and flirty texting recently and over the last two years, this moment has been building. The night we are both single and drunkenly together in New York City.
Now seeing as I drove up to New York City from Baltimore, you would think he could make the effort from there to just meet us some where in New York City... That wouldn't be asking to much, especially with this guy you've been blatantly flirty with, I mean it was past the ambiguous passive flirty phase... and that dyke didn't even meet up with us. He just didn't have the time ON A WEEKEND to come out and just get dinner, or even faster then dinner, one drink. I mean for someone who talks such a big game, he apparently is all talk and no game. And that was the true moment of acceptance and realization for me.
He's just not that into you.
If a guy truly likes you, and wants to see you. He will. No excuses. No if ands or buts. He will see you. Even if he is so damn busy at work, has so much to do after work that week. He will always find the time to see you if he not only likes you but actually wants to see you. period. It was just coincidence that I was rereading the Bible until 3:30am that same night before.
If you meet a guy and he loses your number, and he actually likes you and wants to see you again, he will find your cell number from another source, he will try to find you on facebook to get your number again, he will google where you work- find the website, look in the directory, and call you at the office IF he really wants to see you again. NO EXCUSES. NO BULLSHIT.
he. will. contact. you.
So naturally I cannot be a hypocrite to my own Bible. Usually, in this situation I would send an extremely bitchy "fuck you" text. But with my rediscovery reading the Bible the night before, sneaking down into the kitchen at 2:30am for some cookies and juice (mind you i'm not in my own house, and have never met Paige's family before.. who the hell do I think I am?) solely because I was reading so fast and gasping so loudly at passages I completely agreed with, I went for a much healthier approach. I just deleted his number. And you know what? After seeing the message on my phone that said "Contact Deleted," I felt so great about myself.
Why would you want to waste your precious time and energy, especially in our 20's, on a guy who is just not that into you? More importantly why would you even want that guy in your life? Why would you want someone in your life, who doesn't completely want you in theirs? We deserve better then that.
Never make someone a priority, when you are only an option. We all deserve someone that is going to put us first, and make us feel so fulfilled and worthwhile, and nothing less. So why settle for less? Why would you even want to give that asshole guy any of your time, when he cant give you any of his?
Oh lord, enough hypothetical questions. I totally just embodied Carrie Bradshaw.
From here on out, at the end of every blog, I am going to put a quote from The Bible as a food for thought.
"Calling when you say you're going to call is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can't lay this one stupid brick down, you ain't never gonna have a house, baby. And it's cold outside."
I am really looking forward to my next one night stand now.
Until next time,
- The new self empowered and always sexual me
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